Life would be so dull without literature. Have some poetry.

-

"Lies I’ve Told My 3 Year Old Recently"
Raul Gutierrez

Trees talk to each other at night.
All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.
Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.
Tiny bears live in drain pipes.
If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.
The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.
Everyone knows at least one secret language.
When nobody is looking, I can fly.
We are all held together by invisible threads.
Books get lonely too.
Sadness can be eaten.
I will always be there.

"Long Distance II”
Tony Harrison

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in. You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

-

Happy New Year! :)

I went to a Photoshop course a few weeks ago. It was just a two day course. To 'graduate' the course and get the certificate, we had to complete the assignment given. The assignment was pretty simple. We just had to create a piece of artwork that has a picture of ourselves in it.

And THIS is what I came up with. I find this 'artwork' absolutely hilarious. XD

I'm supposed to be sitting there on the bench, but I removed my own picture. We were told beforehand to bring our own pictures on the second day. But I forgot, so I had to take a picture that day. The course was held at my school on a Saturday, so as per school rules, we have to wear something that has the school badge on it to be able to enter the school. I was wearing my school's sports T-shirt, and I just don't like it. So I removed my picture!

The ghost there would be Mr. Jimmy Stewart. ♥ I found that picture on his IMDb profile, I think.

In other news, I watched Twilight! I really don't know what to say about it. I enjoyed how close to the book it was. And while the whole world was swooning over Edward, I was squeeing at the sight of Jacob. ♥

Edward's sparklypoo diamond skin is even more ridiculous than I imagined. The movie itself was quite boring, I would say. But I didn't go in expecting very much. I loved the humans and the nomads!

Remember this little entry I wrote a while ago? I really want to write up a proper entry talking about it, but I don't know where to start.

All I can say is, I'm not single anymore. ;)

When things seem too good to be true, they usually are.

I am quite addicted to this song at the moment.

Fits my mood too perfectly.

LJ has had a lot of issues before this. None ever really affected me directly. I just don't mind about most of the changes they make and stuff like that.

But this moving server thing that they just did must have messed with the notification system, because I am not getting the e-mails notifications I am supposed to be getting!

And this is pissing me off like WHOA.

At first I thought they were just slow or something, but I just noticed that that's not the case.

I just posted voting for one of the icontests I mod. I refreshed the page and found 3 votes, but I only got one e-mail notification!

RAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!!! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, LJ!

This seems like a small matter, I know. I'm not entirely sure why this is affecting me so much.

I just feel so pissed now. Might be the hormones. Iono.

Anyone else have this problem? The notifications, I mean, not the hormones.

It's 5 AM right now. I don't want to go into details on why I'm up at this hour, but be rest assured that I did get my sleep.

Isn't it wonderful how one moment's impulsive decision (that seemed almost foolish at that time) could lead on to something else so unrelated to the original decision that you would never have seen it coming, but so wonderful it makes your heart sing?

I know I'm a weird person. I'm not saying that based on what people tell me, I'm saying that based on simple observation and comparing my own interests and thoughts to those around me. And my conclusion is, I am weird.

But I'm okay with that. Because I'm okay with myself. The good, the bad, the in between; I accept them all. Maybe not all just yet, but it's something I strive for - to be able to love myself completely.

I've been rambling and I haven't even started yet on what I wanted to say.

What I wanted to say was.... Life's good at this moment.

This isn't one of those 'perfect' moments where everything seems to be so perfectly in place. This isn't one of them at all.

This is one of those Beautiful Disaster moments. A beautiful thing born out of a disaster. Or maybe it was never a disaster. My heart never said it was, but that's what the world kept telling me. I probably shouldn't have listened to those voices, they brought me so much more troubles I don't need.

Of course there's a chance they could be right. This beautiful thing born out of a disaster could well be just another disaster waiting to happen. But at this moment in time, I'm agreeing completely that Ignorance Is Bliss.

And if you somehow guessed that this is related to the previous entry I made about 'drugs' and another Beautiful Disaster, and you made the connection - virtual cookies for you, because I'm talking about the same thing!

I'm so glad I didn't cut myself off from the 'drug'. Best decision I ever made.

I've been neglecting my two communities, I'm gonna go play Mod now.

A couple of months ago, when I just started studying in my current school, I always felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

For many months now, that feeling has been absent. I honestly don't know how to describe that feeling. You know how sometimes you read a book, and you spot foreshadowing? It's a bit like that. It's like I knew that my being in that certain place at that certain time was preparing me for something in the later 'chapters' of my life.

Today, I got the feeling back again. But not all of it. The one I felt all those months ago, was a positive one. I would smile when the wind blew, feel a sense of contentment whenever I look at a mother and child hand in hand, feel the day get better when the bus driver smiles just a tad when I say "Terima kasih." ("Thank you.") when he gives me my ticket, etc.

I was in such a perfect place. I just loved the person that was Me back then. My personal development was right where it was supposed to be. The combination of maturity and contentment at that time was just perfect.

For a while, everything in my life went fine. Then I was struck by my Kryptonite: Routine life. And in my own way, I got resentful to life. And when you resent life, it resents you.

Routine life sucks a lot of things from me. My energy, my attention span, my judgment on what's important, etc. I become so self absorbed that I feel like I'm the only one that's suffering all the things that I suffer. Which is something that is never ever true. I know my 'sufferings' (if you can call it that) aren't unique to me, and they give me no right to be resentful to life because of it.

'Tis a dangerous thing to think only of yourself.

Something happened this past week. No adjective in the English language can sufficiently describe this week. Bizarre? Magical? Crazy? I don't know. And I don't want to know.

( Cut because I'm feeling generous. )

HAVE I GONE MAD???

Prolly have. I can't think straight right now. My brain is all over the place.

Quick question:

RED PILL OR BLUE PILL?

I don't know how it happened, but I somehow got caught up is some sort of conflict that started long ago between two guys but never really ended, and, apparently, there will be this 'confrontation' tomorrow to 'clarify' things.

They are both grown adults - one is 18, the other 19 - and I hope nobody starts throwing fists.

They're both telling me contradicting facts about a certain issue, and I honestly don't know who to believe. For all I know, they could both be lying.

I haven't known them for long, but I've heard some stuff from people who have known them for a while, and both these guys don't exactly have the best record when it comes to being honest.

And this issue that caused the conflict happened a few years ago, and there was some money involved.

Any other time, I might not have bothered so much about things like this. Two people in conflict, what else is new? Right? But I somehow feel like I'm the one who made brought about the need for this 'confrontation'.

You know what? Scratch that. I may be the very reason it's happening at all!

Oh, why do I have to be so curious and pry into things that aren't any of my business? Why do I have to keep asking more questions when I know all too clear that it would just lead on to more conflict?

Curiosity will be the death of me. I'm sure of it.

So I've had about six consecutive days off from school. It was quite refreshing! Went back to school today (a Friday) and I was still in my holiday mood. But all is not lost, I still had the will power to actually pay attention in class. Hah!

Wanna know how I spent my days off? Nothing impressive, just slouching around as usual. I played some Spore. It's as addictive as Sims. But it gets a bit boring after playing for too long - something I don't get when I play Sims.

I also finally got the chance to really sit down and watch Hana Yori Dango 2! Oh man, watching the drama brought back many many memories of my foolish tween days. Oh, what I would give to relive those carefree days for just one minute....

Anyway, I finished the drama in about 2 days or so. Stayed up till about 5 AM just to finish the drama. I truly am obsessed with this series. Hana Yori Dango is actually a really popular manga series in Japan. It spawned an anime, 2 live action dramas, and 2 live action movies. I first got introduced to it when I watched Meteor Garden. I was absolutely obsessed with the series and those boys when I was younger. In a way, I still am today! Some things just don't change.

Meteor Garden was really really popular in Taiwan when it first came out. The boys portraying F4 in the series got so popular that they started a group together, borrowing the name 'F4' that made them so popular. The idea of the group was probably started so they could rake in whatever profit they could from the popularity of the series at the time. But hey, it worked. F4 is still very popular even today.

After I watched the Taiwanese series, I found there was an anime based on the manga as well. And perfect timing, the anime started airing on TV! This was back in 2004. I watched the anime in Cantonese, because it was a Chinese channel I watched it on. It's better than reading subtitles, which is a bit distracting sometimes. So I finished the anime, and for a while, my obsession died down a little.

Then came early 2006, when I found out that there was a Japanese version of the drama! So I went to D-Addicts (which I used to frequent, but not so much these days) to download the episodes. Finished the drama real quick too. And I fell in love! This version of the drama was so much better than the Taiwanese one. They have a bigger budget here and even though there were really little episodes (only 9!) it was nicely done.

There's a second season to the Taiwanese drama. Probably due to the popularity of the first season, the second season had a bigger budget, and had more episodes. Didn't help it though. The storyline strayed real far from the manga (from what I've heard) and the episodes just dragged on.

Early 2007, the second season of the Japanese drama arrived! I was real busy with school stuff that time and didn't get a chance to watch it. So I just downloaded it and kept them for later. I remember zoom watching each episode so I could get the gist of the storyline. Spoiled myself to everything, but that didn't matter. I was already spoiled to a lot of the storyline anyway, having watch the anime and the other dramas before. So it didn't really matter.

So this week, after so long, I finally got a chance to really sit down and watch this second season. I love it so much! I don't think I will ever get tired of this series! And from snooping around, I found out that a Korean drama based on the series will be airing soon! Needless to say, I will be downloading that too.

Apart from the two seasons of the Japanese live action drama, a movie was also made using the same cast. Titled Boys Over Flowers Final, it's supposed to tie up the storyline from the end of the second season of the live action drama. It came out in Japan around June, and it premiered here yesterday (October 30th). Sadly, it shows only in limited cinemas. I checked online, and the cinemas where they're showing the movie are just too far away from where I am. Well, they're not THAT far, I just have problems getting there. And if I want to watch the movie, I probably have to watch it alone. I don't think anyone who hasn't seen the live action drama would enjoy the movie.

So it looks like I'll have to wait for the DVD to come out, hope that some kind people will fansub it (because I heard it doesn't have English subtitles), and download it. The DVD is coming out in December. Patience, my heart! I can wait.

Back in 1995, a live action movie based on the series was made staring some (according to what I read) really popular stars back in the nineties. I saw some screencaps if it, and it looks hilarious. The fashion! Haha!

So. Have I convinced you of my obsession with Hana Yori Dango yet? Feel free to reply to this post with a simple: Obsessed much? I'll understand. XD

But wait, I'm not done babbling yet! As obsessed as I am with Hana Yori Dango, I have yet to read the manga. Sigh. Will some kind soul buy them for me for please? I can't read Japanese, so the only alternative is reading the English ones, and they are super expensive. Unless I can get my hands on Chinese ones... I'd have some trouble reading, but it's better than nothing...

I'm on a Hana Yori Dango high right now. Should die down in a while. But while I'm still high, I'm gonna keep fangirling to my hearts content! I feel so sorry for the people who come talk to me on MSN. I'll always find a way to change the topic to HanaDan. Wahaha.

Sorry, my dears! I swear I'll be better soon. I am now off to try and find ways to watch the HanaDan movie.

Sayonara!

First off, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, fallen_indian! So sorry for the extreme lateness. >.<

My mind has been terribly scattered these days. I feel so tired all the time, even when I haven't done anything much. I'm just so glad the Deepavali holidays are here. I have four days off and I'm going back to school on Friday. Hurrah!

Right after my exams, which ended on the 15th, my friends and I went for a movie after school to celebrate. We debated on whether to watch Eagle Eye (Starring Shia LaBeouf!) or Butterfly Lovers (a Chinese movie based on a well-known Chinese legend), because they were the only movies available for the time we wanted. We finally decided to watch Eagle Eye but the person assigned to buy the tickets got confused and bought tickets for Butterfly Lovers instead.

But it was the best mistake ever, because we had so much fun watching this movie! We were laughing through the whole thing! The interesting is, we were all laughing AT the movie, not WITH it. There were some scenes (especially the fighting ones) that were just so unrealistic, and when one friend points out the funny thing about the scene, the whole group laughed. Everyone else in the cinema must hate us so much at that point. Even though we didn't get to see the movie we wanted to watch, we still had fun. The movie was the perfect stress reliever after the exams.

Last night, after dinner, as I was flipping through the channels, I landed on HBO and I saw The Borrowers again. I love that movie so much! It starred a really really tiny Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy). He was so cute in the movie, I just want to eat him up!

What I liked about the movie was that it reminded viewers what it was like to be a kid. Don't know how to describe it, but that's exactly how I felt when I watched the movie. The movie was so good that it could keep my two brothers, who are addicted to gaming, away from their games. This might not sound like much, but it is! It takes quite a lot to keep them away from their games, and this movie could do that.

I highly recommend this movie for when you're looking for an escape. :)

In other news, my dad promised to take me to the see the Mamma Mia! musical. I'm so excited! It's coming here around Christmas/New Years time. The tickets are gonna cost a lot, but I think it'll be worth it. I loved the movie! And I hope the musical is the same, if not better.

I initially wanted to make a post squeeing about how much I love Mamma Mia! because I just watched it again, but I'm so not in the mood anymore right now.

That's because it's raining cats and dogs outside! It's raining REALLY REALLY heavily. The thunder is so loud and the lightning is so bright, it's kinda scary. I have honestly never seen lightning so bright before. It lit my entire room up!

AND IT'S 1 AM RIGHT NOW. THIS IS LIKE A SCENE FROM A HORROR MOVIE.

I've never been afraid of storms. In my own twisted sort of way, I've always loved them.

Now I'm just scared.

HELP.

Today is a happy happy day. I didn't win the lottery or anything. But today is just simply wonderful.

I had a 3 hour exam in school today. Stressful yes, but I got over it.

I went to the bank with my dad to open a bank account. It was around 3 PM or so and the bank looked busy. Everyone was rushing around filling out forms and such. I feel so 'old' all of a sudden. XP

Then when I came home, I finished the last episode of this Hong Kong drama I've been watching. And when one of the pairings looked like it would end with a Girl/Random Prince Charming From Out Of Nowhere type pairing, it turned right around and ended with a Girl/Best Friend That's Been There All Along type pairing! I was rooting for them! In fact, I'm quite happy with the way most of the pairings went.

But pairings weren't the main focus of the drama. It was the importance of family. And the show ended wonderfully. I don't know why some of my friends didn't like it. Different tastes, I suppose.

I've been crazy with exams the whole week, and sort of neglected frozen_avatar for a while. I delayed the results for a challenge for a few days. I just got done tallying the votes and posting the results. They were very interesting. One single person won all the top three spots! So as a tradition of sorts, I awarded fourth place as well.

Then fallen_indian commented on the entry and we talked for a while. That thread of comments seriously just made my day. Especially this part. It's so nice to feel appreciated!

The way she described how she loves the comm reminded me of how I love twiconathon. I check my friends list obsessively sometimes, waiting for voting posts and such. I get so excited when results are announced and I can't wait for the next challenge. That's a sign of a wonderfully managed community.

Wouldn't you all agree? You do an awesome job, chefs_d_oeuvre! ;)

And I don't even like Twilight that much. That just further proves how awesome the comm is.

Avatar was on Nickelodeon around dinner time today. Watched some bits near the end of The Beach. I really like this episode. Sealed my love for Ty Lee/Zuko! And made me like Ty Lee more. She's one of my faves.

While we're on Avatar, I should mention I chose a 'Jet/Katara' theme on the last challenge at Frozen Avatar and a 'Jet' theme for the current one. Jet is seriously one of my favourite characters in Avatar, and the ammount of pretty icons featuring him that the comm is getting is making me very very happy! Don't know why I never chose this theme before! I miss Jet so much!

I hope today's happy vibe carries on to tomorrow. I still need to study for a few more papers. Need all the enthusiasm I can get!

I feel so much lighter now after I had the 'epiphany' the other day. It's so hard to explain this 'lightness' that I feel. It's like having a weight lifted off my chest, and I can breathe easier now. But it's so much more than that...

I seriously don't know whether to find it ironic or amusing that the epiphany came exactly 7 days after my 18th birthday. And it came around noon, which was around the time I was born. I joked with my cousin Nikki about this. I was expecting psychic powers of some sort, not the emotional breakdown that I got.

When I think about it now, everything seems to make so much sense that it makes me wonder why I never connected the dots before. Looking back, it seems like I've been sabotaging my own happiness for a while now. All the self-destructive, self-sabotaging things I've done... I see them all in a new light now. Suddenly, they all make sense.

Remember the Physics exam that I had? I tried doing some desperate last minute studying the night before. Tried to cram in whatever I can, and just let the rest flow. I was surprisingly more calm than I thought I would be just before the exam.

I had the whole week off and I didn't study at all. I was procrastinating studying the whole week, and I gave myself a lot of crap because of that. And it didn't help that I was having my period. The hormones just added to the crap I was already giving myself. But after the epiphany, I feel like the week wasn't wasted at all.

I think the calmness I felt was because I was in a state of total surrender. While it's impossible for me to feel no pressure whatsoever when the exam is so near (I am still me, after all), I was comforted by the thought that while, yes, the week was wasted, the week also helped me realize this important part of myself. I am more sure than ever that I've failed that exam. But I'm not sweating about it. Because I know, in the long run, the epiphany does more for my own personal development than a simple Physics exam ever would.

They say realising is already half the battle. So I'm already half way there by realising that I have this self-sabotaging part of myself. I'm gonna make it my goal this year to try and work on it. Wish me luck!

I sincerely thank all of you who left a comment in the previous entry. I really needed those words. I feel much much better now. ♥

I'm off to study and cram for Chemistry now. TTFN! Tata for now~!

I think I finally understand why I keep procrastinating homework. I think I finally understand why I never EVER study for my exams.

It's because I'm subconsciously trying to sabotage my own happiness. Why would anyone want to do that, you might ask? Because there's a part of me that believes I don't deserve all the good things I get.

Sounds absurd doesn't it? Absurd is the story of my life.

My cousin Nikki knows this best. I rant to her all the time about this. And God bless her soul, she listens every time.

I live a terribly blessed life. I have nothing to complain about. But ever since I could remember, there's always been this nagging voice at the back of my head that tells me I don't deserve any of it. The voice asks me what I've ever done in my life to deserve such good things. And slowly but surely I begin to believe that I don't.

Showing up late to important appointments. Not doing homework when it's due tomorrow. Not studying for important exams. Staying up staring at the computer and finding a million and one reasons to justify just SITTING here and doing NOTHING when I should have been finishing up that damn Physics report due tomorrow.

It makes me feel worse when I get decent grades in my exams. Because I know all too well that I didn't study for it, and therefore did not deserve that stupid fucking A. It seems like there's some sick part of myself that finds joy in testing the limits of my luck.

Tracing back through the sands of time, I can't really pinpoint when this all began. But it's been there for far too long and the voice is becoming too damn loud. I can't ignore it anymore.

My final exams start tomorrow. As in Monday. It's Sunday afternoon and I had the whole week off. I did nothing for the whole week.

I don't like myself right now.

My Physics paper is tomorrow. This is supposed to be the subject I love best. I'm gonna take a bath now and then hit the books and try to do what I can.

Sorry for the heavy load, dear friends. Hope all is well with you all.

-

First off, thanks for all the birthday wishes, you guys! I really appreciate them.

And lookie what fallen_indian made for me!



Isn't Garfield just ADORABLE? ♥ Thanks again for making these, honey!

Anyway, in case you guys were wondering, I had a wonderful birthday. I didn't exactly celebrate it, but it was still good nonetheless. The birthday itself was, admittedly, quite dull. But the days that followed sort of made up for it.

Because my final exams are just around the corner (it's next week, to be exact) having a birthday party now wouldn't be much fun. But it's my 18th, and I'm adamant on having some sort of celebration, so I decided to have the party some time late October.

( Monday, 29th September 2008 )

( Tuesday, 30th September 2008 )

So that's all I have to say about my birthday, and the days that followed. It wasn't great, but still wonderful in its own way in my book. And I'm thankful for that. ♥

Tomorrow is my 18th birthday.

My little brother went out on a date with his girlfriend today.

He bought me a cake! The little punk actually bought me a cake!

That was a pleasant surprise.

Made me warm and tingly inside.

1.
I had a friend back in kindergarten who told me that he could fly if he stretched his arms wide enough when he's outside.

I think I believed him.


2.
When writing the year back in kindergarten I'd write 1995 because I was 5 years old, not because the year really was 1995. I remember when I was 7, I told my little brother that he wasn't supposed to write 1997, but instead write 1995 because he was 5 years old.

WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS.


3.
One random day when we were cutting paper in kindergarten, I used the scissors to cut my own hair. I can't remember why.

I just remember I got a lot of attention because of it. After that incident, all my friends would say, "Don't cut your hair!" whenever I was holding a scissors.

The teachers paid extra attention to me too.


4.
When a really old Indian teacher I had back in kindergarten told me that she'll be retiring and leaving the country soon, I asked if I could wave to her from the ground when her airplane passed by. I think she said I could.

Not long after she left, I remember while playing in the garden of my house, I saw an airplane fly by and, thinking she was in it, I waved to it. I think I actually believed my teacher could see me and wave back.

I think the teacher's name was Mrs Rajah.


5.
Back in kindergarten, whenever we'd get notification letters we were supposed to give to our parents, I'd fold those letters into whatever crazy thing I could think of at that moment. Needless to say, the letter would be really scrunched up when it reached my parents.

They never got mad at me though. The weird 'designs' I could come up with always amused them.

I remember teaching a cousin of mine, who went to the same kindergarten I did, how to fold a Chinese fan from the letters. (It's really simple.) He showed the letter/fan to his mom (my aunt) and I got scolded by her. She says I shouldn't have done that to the letter because she hasn't read it yet.

After my aunt left, my mom defended me though. I continued to do weird things with those letters, and my parents continued to not care what I did with them.

To this day, she's still my least favourite aunt.

-

I was an odd child wasn't I? Or maybe I'm was as plain as day. I don't know. Most people I know can't remember much of their kindergarten days. So there isn't much to compare with.

-

I'm procrastinating homework again. It's 12.30 AM. I should start doing them now.

-

Random entry in the middle of the night because I'm procrastinating math homework! GO ME!

-

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the
daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem
less wondrous than your joy;

“On Pain” Poem by Khalil Gibran.

-

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals

"Fallen" Song by Sarah McLachlan.

-

I don’t know if the stars rule the world
Or if Tarot or playing cards
Can reveal anything.
I don’t know if the rolling of dice
Can lead to any conclusion.
But I also don’t know
If anything is attained
By living the way most people do.

“I don’t know if the stars rule the world” Poem by Fernando Pessoa.

-

And I close this entry, with a long one. There is really no way I could have picked a part I like and quoted it here. This poem needs to be read in its entirety.

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don't regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You've walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You've traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don't bother remembering
any of it. Let's stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

“Antilamentation” Poem by Dorianne Laux.

Do you regret the wasted days you wanted to know nothing?

-

Today was kinda 'normal'. And that's weird for me.

School was alright. You can almost say it was good. I paid attention in all the classes today. Full attention. That's kinda rare.

After school, I had a Special Education Society meeting to attend. We learned to sign two new songs today. I already know how to sign Negaraku, the national anthem, Majulah, MBS (Go Forward, MBS), the Malay version of our school song, and the Rukun Negara (National Principles).

All in all it was a good day. Even though it rained cats and dogs, and I got soaked on my way home, it was still a good day. I like rain.

We watched Hellboy 2 just now. The movie was interesting, I suppose. It's got a plot and everything. But I just couldn't WATCH it properly. I kept falling asleep. I'm not sure if it was the movie or of it was me.

After the movie, here I am. Writing this. Completely unsure of what to write next...

Oh, yes! During the Special Education Society meeting, I went up to the front and signed the Rukun Negara in front of everyone. I didn't get any of the signs wrong! I didn't even forget any! I feel so proud!

And during the free period in class, I taught some of my friends sign language. It felt weird. But a good kind of weird. Weird because I know I suck as a teacher. I've always sucked at explaining school stuff. I can never explain to my friends the things I understand about a certain subject when they come to me for help. (Unless it's English, of course.)

But I taught them sign language, and they actually understood! That's something new.

Today was a completely normal day. Normal days are kinda fun. I should have more normal days like this. I wonder what tomorrows gonna be like.

-

The title of this entry is from this poem.

you need to sleep.

-

I had another fandom dream last night. This time, it's a Twilight dream.

In the dream I saw myself reading an article about Twilight online. The subject of the article read:

Twilight: Steven Strait cast as Jacob Black.

ONLY IN DREAMS WILL THAT EVER HAPPEN. XD

In the article, Steven mentions how excited he is to play Jacob and some other stuff I can't remember.

Back when I was reading the books, I used to picture Steven Strait as Jacob. I blame the fandom for that fact. But now when I look at pictures of Steven Strait, the less I see him as Jacob. Probably because Steven looks so much older and 'mature' now. Sky High!Steven was the perfect Jacob. ♥

But any other way, Steven Strait is still hot in his own right. Observe.

( Pic spam! )

OH STEVEN. JUST DO ME NOW. 8D~~~~

ETA: ( Now with an extra dose of Jacob! )

I had an Avatar dream last night. It was a Taang dream. In the heat of battle, and the face of death, they kissed. ♥ SO BEAUTIFUL. :')

( Kinda long description of the dream under the cut. Spoilers for the finale. )

I'm almost 99.9% sure that it was this JAW DROPPINGLY GORGEOUS piece of art that inspired my dream. I saw it last night before I went to sleep.

I SHOULD LOOK AT MORE FANART BEFORE I SLEEP, Y/Y??? XD